The invisible epidemic of limiting beliefs
I have spoken to so many women who seem to be disillusioned with where they are in their lives. They claim they want something different, they want to feel different, they want a change in their lifestyle. However, I am always astounded that, when you ask the question,
“what do you want”?
The answer you get, 99% of the time, is
“I don’t know”.
Well they say that they don’t know. Once you start to dig though, you realise that it is not that they don’t know. It is that their beliefs about what they think they can achieve or deserve is what is really holding them back. Restricting them from making the changes that would make truly happy.
I had a session with a client a while ago, which was just meant to be a planning session for her current business. She had a successful therapy business, worked hard to qualified and enjoy what she did. But, as I do with all sessions, I asked people what kind of lifestyle they wanted. Without hesitation she said immediately
“Travel”
To which I responded
“Why isn’t that what you are doing now”?
The thing about this wonderful women is she loved to sing, so much so that she had won awards with her group and choir. Her singing had taken her all over the world. She was single, had no children and had all the freedom and the absolute talent, knowledge and experience to combine her passions and create a highly successful business.
But because this world seemed out of her reached it was something she just continued to desire rather than making it a reality.
I talk a lot about beliefs, they are the foundation to who you are and what you do or do not in your life. The problem is they are sneaky little shits and we wear them without knowing like a comfortable pair of slippers. That is perfect the power strong beliefs that help to make us successful but less helpful for those limiting ones that hold us back.
It is the biggest element to the work I do with my amazing clients. Helping them to smash their limiting beliefs to smithereens so they no longer create road blocks and people have a clear path to the business and lifestyle they once allowed themselves only to be a dream.
So what do you want to do?
You know what you love to do, you know what brings you joy and you know in your heart what you want your lifestyle to look, sound and feel like. In recent posts we have talked about you being honest about what you really want and we have talked about what you want your story to be.
So now you have opened those doors, have you been truly, truly honest about what you are passionate about? It is time to start creating your lifestyle for real.
Look at what you have created on your dream boards, what is it you covet most? Where does your attention draw you?
I have a friend, she has a really good job that she says she likes but she is really passionate about running. She spends every spare moment, running, thinking about running, reading about running and talking about running. So why does she continue you do a job that she likes over creating a lifestyle from some thing that she loves?
This is the same question you have to ask yourself about what ever it is you are passionate about in your life.
Let’s say for example you love to bake and you dream of a lifestyle where you get to spend your days, in your beautifully designed kitchen, creating new cake recipes for your next cookbook. Does it seem like this is a distant dream rather than something you could genuinely create? Just turn to any successful baking blogger and it will show you how you can turn this passion into a successful business.
Kat Williams started writing a blog in 2007, in secret, when she was planning her wedding, to her now husband Gareth. She loved it so much that the blog became the hugely successful RockNRoll Bride.
This blog has brought Kat unbelievable success. Not only the blog, that alone earns her a six figure income; but along with two other bloggers she founded The Blogcademy. With her cofounders she toured the world twice a year teaching others how to turn their passions into a blog. She had to stop this because success took over and she now has her own magazine and works with a ton of others on partnerships.
Kat is a true example of someone who took a passion and turned it into a business and a lifestyle. Would you like to tour the world twice a year? Would you like to write for a living?
There is really nothing, nothing at all that you can’t turn into a business and a lifestyle.
I am not qualified
I hear this one all the time, even from women who run successful businesses. We have been so conditioned by education and quite often in corporations. This believe that you need to hold some kind of certificate to be able to do what you want to do.
If you are a doctor or lawyer yes I would rather you be qualified but most of the time, for the rest of the stuff, it is just bullshit.
The difference with doing business today is that there is so much more opportunity than ever to grow a business from a passion.
Look at the incredible growth of bloggers, people who simply started to write about and take pictures of what they love. Whether it is fashion, lifestyle, cooking, or writing blogs are being written and creating a ton of success and money for those writing them.
Also the way in which your skills are transferable and how they can be used are so much more powerful today. So for example let’s say that you love the opera, but you have no voice, not qualifications and no experience of than your love of it means you listen to all Operas that are recorded, you read about them you, you save money to watch them, you compare them. You could start a blog and put Opera into simple language for people to understand.
Let’s say, as woman, you love cars. You are not qualified, but you can change a set of brake pads with your eyes closed, switching out an engine is your meditation and you can tell the make of a car just by listening to it.
You could create a business that helps more women to understand their cars, how to care from them, for those that love cars, how to restore and fix them themselves.
Look at the platform that The Great British Bake Off, has created for amateur bakers. Many of them have gone on to make this their full time profession rather than just being amateur bakers.
Don’t allow a ‘certificate’ to hold you back.
I could go on and on and on about what ever your particular talent is and how you could turn that into a business, in fact it is part of the work I do with my clients. However, in order to start to turn your passion into a lifestyle you have to take action and start taking steps. Just don’t allow the lack of a ‘certificate’ to hold you back.
Take action now
- Decide exactly what you want to do. Don’t hold back, if your dream is to travel the world earning money then that is what it must be, don’t dilute this because of fears or because of what you think others might say.
- Create a vision board of exactly how you want it your life, business, lifestyle to look. My blog post Get help with kicking arse with a Pinterest vision board will help you with this.
- Make a plan, what do you want to achieve, what type of business do you want to run, do you want to create a blog, are you looking to create a product, do you want to purchase a shop………..?
- Do your research, find people who walk the walk in this area, study what has made them successful. Understand how the business you want to enter works. There is no excuse not to do this, there are trillions of pieces of information across the web that will give you all the information you need.
- Start to connect and follow influencers in your field, don’t be afraid it is amazing the relationships you can build and the opportunities that come from this.
- Spend time with like minded women, this will keep you inspired and will help you when you need the support.
- Purchases courses, listen to podcasts, buy books for areas you don’t understand, again there are millions, so if you need to learn about blogging or social media then find out about.
- Get a name, website, social media accounts. See my blog about the 5 details in business that give the wrong impression. Get a good start by not doing any of these.
- Get a coach. This will exponentially help you to remain confident about your decision, how you approach your business and the success that your business has. I can’t say this enough. Every successful female entrepreneur I know has a coach and constantly invests in themselves to improve their knowledge and their chances of greater success.
Most importantly take action now!!!!!!!!!
To end
If you have lived in the trenches of a corporate job for years, where every pay rise, every promotion, every small decision can take a pathetic amount of effort. It is not difficult to understand that you would believe that completely recrafting your life would be beyond difficult. But, over and over and over again women have proven it is completely possible you just need to make the decision to do it and then take your first step.
